My Beautiful Cousin and the I-Hate-My-Downstairs-Neighbor-Tart

The other day, I got into an argument with my downstairs neighbor. I’m not big on arguments, so it was pretty uncomfortable. I live in an old house built circa 1920. It was converted into 4 apartments in the 1970’s. I have lived here almost 4 years, longer than any of the other tenants. It’s a quirky place to say the least, tucked above some old store fronts on Sunset Blvd in Echo Park. About 2 years ago, I decided to start a small compost heap. I live upstairs, so I picked a spot under my stairs (which are outside of course) for the heap. It has been living as a happy heap of decomposing fruits, veggies, dirt and some dog poop for the past couple of years.

Then, the other day, I suddenly found a giant plastic pot sitting directly on top of the compost. I moved the pot from atop the heap several times, only to find it right back on top of the heap every day. This was my neighbor’s passive-aggressive way of expressing her disapproval of the compost. SIGH. Oh and I forgot to mention that the plant inside the pot was a small dead palm. I have a lil bit of green thumb. I know a dead plant when I see one, and it’s going to take a miracle to bring that poor palm back to life. Anyhow, I looked inside of the pot and the palm was just sitting atop some soil. It wasn’t buried or really “planted”….just sitting in there. Anyhow, to make a long story short (because it’s too long already!) my neighbor came out and an argument ensued over these issues. My neighbor was very unwilling to hear anything I had to say, which is just frustrating when you’re trying to explain your point of view to someone. So, I told her that I was going to go back indoors if we couldn’t come to some kind of agreement regarding her continually placing her dead plant on top of my compost heap. It turned out that her issue was regarding the smell and attraction of flies. I told her she just needed to come upstairs to let me know it needed some dirt cover and I’d be happy to oblige. This was when she responded with “I never see you” in the snottiest way possible…..you know…..because it’s not like I live DIRECTLY ABOVE HER. Double SIGH. Basically, this is just an unhappy and unfriendly human being who feels like it’s too much to talk to a neighbor over something that was bothering her. I’m not even angry anymore, well, because if that’s the way you are, then I really just feel sorry for you. Good luck at having successful relationships in the future….bitch. –I know, I know, I had to!

Moving right along, I decided to bake this tart:

I hate my downstairs neighbor Pear Tart!

In the spirit of the film Waitress, I decided to pour my anger and hate for this awful neighbor into this pear tart, a recipe that I adapted from The Gluttonous Vegan. I also knew that I was going to visit my cousin, who is battling lung cancer. I decided that I would share the story and the tart and that we could have a nice visit and enjoy ourselves laughing about my idiot neighbor. And we did. And then we watched Rio. Awesome day. 🙂

My beautiful and amazing cousin!

I love, love, love my cousin!

*Also, for the record, all of my other neighbors are lovely and now I appreciate how great they are even more! Thank you other neighbors who are nice and not jerks!

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4 Comments on “My Beautiful Cousin and the I-Hate-My-Downstairs-Neighbor-Tart

  1. It’s always so frustrating when neighbors are difficult. Sounds like she forgot what a piece of paper and pencil can do. Your post made me smile. You turned an annoying moment into something special and turned it into a wonderful time with your cousin.

  2. Thank you guys! This was such a frustrating day, but I’m glad I did something productive with myself and glad I got to share some laughs, treats and quality time with my lovely cousin.

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